As it turns out, these three things ended up being the WORLD'S LONGEST BLOG POST... So one is included here. The other two to join us later this week
1) Sluffing School. When I was in Kindergarten, my mother went back to school, so by the time I was in Elementary School, she would wake me up and then hussle herself off to work. I understand that and (for those of you keeping score) don't feel like I was jipped by my mother not being there all day like she was for my older siblings. Anyway, so one day I'm pretty tired... and by "tired" I mean "want a little bit more attention." *collective gasp of surprise* So when my mom comes in to wake me up I think to myself "I don't want to go to get out of bed yet. Maybe if I stay here, mom will come back and wake me up again." So I pretended I was SO tired I slept through being woken up.
"HOW TRICKY I AM!" thought little Sarah Timms and layed in bed... just waiting for someone to notice that she wasn't getting ready for school.
But she left. She didn't even notice that her little red-headed girl wasn't getting ready for the day. She just left. LEFT! Like she had to be at work or something!
... and then the high school kids left. No big woop... someone will notice.
And then my dad left...
And then my older brother who now went to Jr. High left. And I was there alone.
I kept trying to pretend I had slept through my mom waking me up... I kept trying hard to be asleep to make it reality. Because what had started out as a small act of defiance was now a real issue. I was late for school, and I wasn't even out of bed yet.
So I decided to keep it up. Sure, I had to eat (luckily, there were giant blueberry muffins from Costco for me to eat and pretend it was in my sleep). But even hours later, as my sister Melissa came to the house for some reason (maybe she was in college and was just coming home between classes?) - I still stuck with my story "stay still and pretend you're sleeping," I rationalized with myself. "she will notice you're here and then wake you up and make you go to school. Just wait. It'll happen."
It wasn't happening. So... I started to make snoring noises.
"haaaaaa hoooooooo." I snored. Nothing. So I snored louder.
"HAAAAAAAAAA HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO." was this girl deaf?
Finally I could hear her right outside my door in the kitchen.
"HHHAAAAAAAAAA HOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" I yelled in my snoring sleep.
Finally she came into my room.
"What are you doing home?" Melissa asked.
"Me? Oh no! I must have slept in!" I was astonished to discover.
"Well, you're supposed to be in schoo.... wait. If you were sleeping, why is there a mostly eaten muffin by your clock?"
"I think I ate that when I got up for a midnight snack.... Probably."
I don't remember what happened next. But I do remember one thing "sluffing school is BORING!" It was over 5 years before I tried it again because I learned my lesson so well.
However, as anyone in Cottonwood High School will tell you, drama is nothing more than a few plays and organized sluffing... so clearly it didn't stick.
2 comments:
When I was in kindergarten, I decided one day to turn around and walk home as soon as I arrived at school. So I did. I walked the mile home, across a busy street which usually has a crossing guard, but he had finished his duty and gone home. My mom was completely baffled when I showed up at home and didn't know what to do. I threw a big fit about going back to school, so after talking to my teacher, she let me stay home for a few days. I win!
Wow. There is a REASON you are the Princess of Random, I tell you for sure.
I think I may vaguely even remember this day, now that you spell it all out like this -- as I recall, I put you in my Toyota and took you to school with a note (from me) for your teacher. And then I ate a very large blueberry muffin. I had no idea I was accomplice to such juvenille delinquentism.
For the record, DEBATE class is the true sanctified version of organized sluffing, since you must meet at Dee's (the artist formerly known as Dee's, probably Village Inn by now) to discuss your so-called Strategy Cards over "coffee", aka Cheese Fries. As anyone who took Debate class at Cottonwood High can tell you.
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