why you say hello, I say goodbye.

It has recently come to my attention that I… well… I delete people on Facebook too easily.  Apparently someone thinks that I just go around deleting people because of frivolous events.  This is categorically untrue.  And now… 

Lists of reasons I delete (or at the very least “hide”) people on the Facebook. 

-         I had to delete this one guy because I knew both him and his younger brother in high school.  His younger brother is gay and every time I would see the older brother’s status updates talking about his wife and child I would think “wait, WHAT?  I was SURE this man was a disco-dancing, Oscar Wilde-reading, Streisand ticket-holding friend of Dorothy, know what I'm saying?” only to then click on said update (probably why Facebook was sure I wanted to see what he was doing so much in the first place… because I have to click on EVERY status update).  And THEN I realize… yup, wrong brother.  Anyway, it got too stressful.

-         I had to delete this VERY nice girl I know because… well… I felt judgey.  Actually this has happened to three people I can think of off the top of my head.  Nope… four.  Anyway, I don’t want to be a judgmental person.  Jesus said not to, and I’m way in favor of trying to follow commandments, as you know.  And it could have happened that very thin young people (read this next part fast so you don’t judge me) might have turned out to be older people three times the size of their younger self.   There.  I said it.  Horrible person.  But, really, if I don’t see them, I don’t go there.  Instead of self-mastery, I am working on Facebook-mastery.

-         Just a couple of weeks ago, I deleted a member of my extended family for the sole reason of not wanting to look affiliated with them by anyone who may be internet searching. I think of this as “deleting for safety.”

-         Sometimes I think if you are ridiculously Sean Ramsey/Doug Wright/Sean Hannity, etc. and are vocal about it on a very regular basis… hiding is inevitable.  Deleting is possible.

-         Same goes for super-left.  Justin Ekins – if you are reading this… I really like you.  I think you’re really smart, but honestly, dude… don’t attack everything everyone says.  Or you know what, keep doing that, and keep posting like 4 interesting things a day.  And I will keep you hidden.  Because you clutter my newsfeed.  And sometimes make me angry.  But I really like you as a person and think most of your arguments are really well thought-out.

-         Train wrecks of all of America.  Again, I don’t want to judge you.  Or your bedazzled pants.  Or the names of your children (you do realize they are keeping these for the rest of their lives, right?)!?!?  Or your big hair.  Or your bedazzled pants.  (did I say that twice?)

-         Who are you friends with?  If you have enabling friends who have stupid opinions “no, I think everyone in Hollywood was looking at your four children and judging you for being so young because they are jealous.”  I might want to hide you. I mean, it’s not your fault, but those people are stupid.

Even the people you don't want to connect and share your life with

-         Who are you?  Yeah, that’s happened before.  Sometimes I will see someone’s name pop-up on my feed and I think “yeah, I don’t know who you are.”  And if clicking on your page doesn’t help me… then we can’t be friends.  I don’t care if we met at a party 8 weeks ago and we thought we were going to be friends.  Clearly we didn’t do that.  OR if we went to high school together – we probably weren’t friends then and won’t start soon.  So you are gone.

A little too judgey?  A little too hasty?  What do you think?