Dear my new dog,
I love you. I love you for you sticking your head in peoples laps (even when they're standing up) to be petted. I love you for following me from room to room all day just to be with me. I love you for learning some things very slowly but surely, and I love you for helping me not go crazy all day long.
I also don't like you. I don't like how you bark at Matt every time he comes home (until he changes out of a uniform). I don't like how I'm waking up at 4 every morning now because you bark at Matt when he changes INTO his uniform. I don't like how if you are in the kitchen alone nothing is safe. And I don't like how you have heartworms so soon we can't even walk you (which is sad, but we'll get through it).
-sett-
Dear Adidas,
What is it with your Super Nova shoes (so confy and wonderful) getting squeaky after like two weeks? ALWAYS! I can deal with ugly colors every few seasons, and I can deal with changing out my insoles because the people at the running company tell me to, but I can no longer deal with your squeakyness.
-sett-
Dear Thanksgiving,
You are my effing favorite holiday and this is the first time I've ever had to cook the whole meal. If I mess you up, I am sorry. And you are DEAD TO ME. So SHAPE UP!
-sett-
(see how I use scare tactics to get what I want now? It's new... since the dog...)
Dear Winn Dixie stores,
I went to you because you weren't the Piggy Wiggly (seriously? it's a horrible store), I wasn't close to the post, and you looked clean... and your people were stupid. I asked for pie cherries and was given Marachino cherries, and asked for lard (making pie crust... don't judge) and was told "that's just a fancy word for vegetable shortening." Ummm.... no. Your workers are inept and I'd like a refund of my many dollars of money because I had to spend for freaking ever to get the stuff I needed.
-sett-
Dear Georgia Weather,
Your rain smells horrible and it sucks. Ooh yeah, and would it kill you to be cold enough all day that I don't feel like an idiot by 2pm if I'm wearing a sweater?
-sett-
5 comments:
I can't stand it!!! I'd advise a jacket rather than a sweater, although it is favorite sweater season here in UT, just so the locals don't think you aren't one of them.
I know that Thanksgiving will be tough for you this year. I advise you to watch the Dog Show, watch a Christmas movie that night and remember how much you love baking.
Dear SETT:
I am sorry to be such a stupid f'ing complicated meal. Also, you can blame your mother if the food is not zoom-bang perfect, since she is the one who makes so gosh darn yummy and super-delicious complicated with the tons of must-have side dishes you have come to know and love, so there's that. Please don't give up on me - i am not giving up on you!
Also you don't want the truth because you can't HANDLE the truth.
All my love,
Your Favorite Holiday
Does the Piggly Wiggly really suck? It has such an fun name! I want it to be the most fun store ever! My favorite store here is called HEB. Apparently it stands for Here Everything's Better. I hear they change that every now and again though, so who knows. It's true though because where I am, there everything is better. Better produce at least. Unless I'm at Hubbell & Hudson but if I'm there I might as well donate a kidney to pay for my dinners ingredients. As for Thanksgiving, the only thing worse the spending it with my inlaws would have been spending it with the
Van Der Woodsens. O.M.G. Holy Drama Mama on that epidsode!
okay, novel done.
now.
WOW...I think this should be a new hobby for you. How authentic and wonderful. But c'mon now you know that anything that is not Piggly Wiggly should die.
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